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Guest on a radio show for a day

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RJ Joed Almeida

So, I met my first famous person today. An’ no, it wasn’t David Tennant (That meetin is in the offin 😁) . Well, like David, the fella I met too has a voice that’ll make ya like him instantly. (What’s with me an’ voices, eh?) Well, this guy’s a popular RJ who’s makin waves on Goa’s Indigo 91.9  radio station an’ he’s called RJ Joed Almeida.
Back when I aspired to be an RJ for BBC(that dream didn’t quite materialize, but I’m still gonna have a go at it in the future), I looked up to Joed for inspiration (Well, him an’ Campbell Bain from Takin Over the Asylum , but since we’re talkin bout non-fictional dudes…Joed, it is!). He had one o’ those voices which’d put the listeners and everyone who called in with a request at ease an’ at times, chuckle. My bro an’ I simply love listenin to im on the car radio whenever his show’s on, especially to im ramblin away an’ jokin around with his callers in a mix o’ Konkani an’ English just to kill the time before he plays them their song.
Well, today, I got the opportunity to be part o’ his  radio show on his surprise visit to the college an’ what a fun man he turned out to be in reality as well! His questions to us students ranged from what we loved and hated bout our college to whom we secretly crushed on (thankfully, I dodged that question, cuz my parents listen to the show😆😅). An’ we got to give a shout-out to our friends as well while we were at it, so they were beamin bout it too! I guess I can finally cross off bein interviewed for a radio show off my bucket list then!  Ere’s me tunin out, folks! 📻🎵

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An encounter with a ‘Flying Ant’

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A pic of the flying ant once it'd settled down

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Walk the line....Ant-style!

Sitting on a bench with notes to complete,
Along comes an ant to see what I’ve writ.
It walks upon the page,
Upon black lines, pink margins an’ even along the book’s edge.
An ordinary ant, I think , but not at all camera shy,
But as I picked up my camera phone, it took off an’….started to fly?!? 
Now, am sittin ere an’ at the end o’ my pen I chew,
Wonderin to myself, Mr/ Mrs. Ant, what sorta creature are you?!
Though once I was a biology student, bout flyin ants I haven’t a clue!

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Oh! What a fool!

Dedicated to all the youth who fall prey to drugs, gambling and other vices and throw their lives away in the process.

P.S. If yer wonderin, Matka is the local name for a type of highly addictive, notorious lottery. Many dens have sprung up outside tuition classes or near pubs in Goa, luring youth into a gambling habit from which there’s no escape.
                 ******!!!!

Oh! What a fool I’ve been! , thought John, as he lay bleedin outside a shack,
Blood streamed from the gapin stab wounds on his neck an’ from his back.
The young man’s troubles had begun  the day he’d started visitin the matka den outside his tuition.
He’d indulged in it just for fun….
But, it’d slowly turned into an addiction!
Soon, he was gamblin, tryin his luck at casinos.
Sometimes he’d win, other times Lady Luck dealt the hardest blows!
Speakin o’ blow, he was soon doin that too,
Huffin an’  dealin, his greed for money soon grew.
Pickin up tricks o’ the trade, he could easily give the cops a slip,
An’ his poor parents couldn’t save im, cuz he was in too deep!
But one night on an isolated beach, he got into a fight with some shady folk,
They’d cheated John, not paid for their coke.
It’d ended brutally an’ now he lay gaspin in the blood-stained sand,
He couldn’t believe that this was the end!
Just a boy he was, so much he could’ve offered.
But he chose the wrong path an’ for this, he suffered.

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The tale o’ the woeful wart

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My wart

Sayonara to the wart that resided on my thigh an’ made walkin a tad painful, constantly gettin caught in my trousers an’ what not! It looked like somethin that oughta grow on a Zygon’s arse, honestly! 😆
After a minor surgical procedure, involvin a slightly painful prick o’ an injection (anesthetic), tweezers, scalpel, a whole lotta rubbin alcohol an’ ointment, it now resides in the lil glass container seen in the pic above (good riddance! Phew! 😅)
Fortunately, it wasn’t a life- threatenin wart, cuz I’d hate to die young (or die without meetin David Tennant, for that matter! 😅) Unfortunately, now I’m confined to bed with my thigh tightly wound up in cotton and gauze to prevent heavy bleedin as the ghastly wart turned out to be a highly vascular one, according to my doc. Well, as long as I’m sittin on my arse with nothin better to do, might as well write, eh? Anyway, toodles for now an’ stay healthy an’ wart-free as long as y’all live😁

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An ode to friends

Dedicated to my mum who celebrates her b’day today (She’ll always be my very first best friend) an’ to all my chums from high school.

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Friends bring out the best in us,
The only ones who’ll save ya a seat on the bus.
The ones who’ll cover for ya when ya bunk a class,
Or let ya copy offa em in an exam, just so ya can pass!
From makin mud pies with ya in the sandbox,
To sharin their notes with ya when yer down with chickenpox.
They’ll even rescue ya from depression by tellin ya that life rocks!
An’ when’s all said an’ done,
They demand nothin in return!
A good friend’s always there when yer feelin happy or blue,
So, remember: When ya leave, remember the best…An’ yer friends have always been the best o’ you!

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The young an’ the old

Dedicated to my avo an’ avozinha (my maternal grandparents) who by God’s grace haven’t been pushed away into an old age home somewhere an’ never will be. Love you both💞 To my dearest cousin (enjoy yer twenties an’ may ya turn out to be the best physiotherapist on the planet😘). An’ to my late mãe (my father’s mum), still miss an’ love ya with all my coraçao💖

Attended the twenty-first b’day o’ a dear cousin,
How fast time flies!
One moment yer crawlin an’ babblin, the next- ya begin to run.
The next day’s a Sunday an’ our church celebrates the feast o’ St. Anne and St. Joachim,
A day dedicated especially to our grandparents.
The one day when busy men an’ women take time off to spend quality time with their ol dads an’ mums.
Ya can watch em with their walkers an’ canes, draggin their feet tiringly to the pew,
A far cry from the b’day party, where every person was dancin the whole night through!
An’ as I sit ere, I’m reminded o’ how we’re all growin up so fast,
This beauty an’ youth, it won’t last,
An’ one day, eventually, we’ll find ourselves reminiscin bout our twenty-first b’day an’ bout our  glorious past.

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VIGILANTE IN LOVE! Chapter 22

A/N: Sorry for the hurried ending, but I hope y’all still enjoyed reading😁

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Reunion at the hospital

You…. I thought you were…I thought he was…! ” his sister who was still recovering from the massive blood loss, exclaimed and rubbed her eyes on seeing Edward alive. “Teleportation! Can ya believe? Brilliant! An’ we just had sex in the broom closet! ” a joyous Nick cleared up her confusion, while Edward suppressed a blush on hearing all the praise for him. “Ugh…too much info, bro! Anyway, really glad ya could make it, Mr. Ash. You seemed devious  the first time we met, but then I saw past that, I s’posse. An’ I’m forever grateful to ya for savin me back there.” she whispered with a friendly smile, beginning to warm up to him. “Ya seemed quite devious too, but you’ve softened up since then, eh? ” he teased, settling down on the chair near her bed as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and flashed her a toothy grin.
“Don’t mind if I help myself to that, d’you? I’m starvin! Sex makes me hungry!” he requested, winking mischievously at the vigilante as he spoke. “Again…too much info! Help yourself.” she replied, as the nurse sat down the tray of bland hospital food. “No…keep away from that, that’s mine! ” he was taken aback as she snarled at him when he reached for the jello! “Sorry. I love jello. Ya can eat the yogurt though.” she apologized, before beginning to hungrily wolf down the jello. He nodded his head amusingly and smiled at her childish behaviour. His smile widened as his daughter ran into the room and hopped onto his lap. “Oi! Who’s up for some telly? I think The Notebook’s on! ” Emma suggested, flashing him an impish grin as she spoke, before gesturing to Jo to switch on the telly. They decided to watch cartoons instead, since Neela insisted on it and her dad groaned on hearing her mention The Notebook! Nick sat at the foot of the bed, joining in their excited chatter while partaking some of the food too.
                        ********
Long story short, Jo got a job on the police force. Edward left behind his life o’ crime for good and he and Nick now fight crime together as The Vigilante Duo of London. Emma works as a nurse at Neela’s school and runs the pub at night.

                      #The end#

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VIGILANTE IN LOVE! Chapter 21

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Kiss on reuniting

Fortunately, they’d made it in time and the doctor assured him that his sister was out of danger. He was at the vending machine waiting for his candy bar, when he saw someone who made his life even sweeter…and who he feared was dead- Edward Ash! He appeared stunned, his hair singed and his jacket torn and dusty, as the doors swung open and he looked around at the patients and stretchers as if searching for someone. An ecstatic and relieved Nick lost no time, his shoes squeaking as he ran across the sterilized ,polished white tiled floor over to him. “I’m searchin for someone…Nick an’ Em Qantas…? ” he mumbled, pushing him away as Nick pulled him into a warm embrace and began to weep on the confused looking man’s shoulder. “That’s me, Ed! I’m Nick.Dontcha remember me…? ” Nick whispered, taken aback by what he’d just heard. “Teleportation…memory loss…can’t remember…” Edward muttered, staring at him with his glassy, clueless eyes, as if he’d no recollection. “Oh…no! ” Nick stuttered, realizing what’d happened as he watched the man he loved fumble with the purple fob watch in his hand. “Oh…YES! Gotcha! Was that dramatic enough for ya, Mr. Drama queen?! ” Edward exclaimed after a long pause, pocketing the fob watch and flashing him a mischievous grin on noticing his sorrowful expression. “C’mere, you! Ya really had me worried there! ” Nick cried out on realizing he’d been tricked, punching him playfully and hugging him, pleased to see he hadn’t really lost his memory.  “Well, do I get a kiss for savin lives? ” he asked, moving closer till Nick could feel his hot breath against his face.
“Sorry for disturbin ya…but, dontcha think ya oughta kiss your daughter first? ” a voice interrupted, as the guard who’d just returned from the cafeteria with Ed’s daughter watched from the doorway, smiling on overhearing their conversation. She let go of her tiny hand as Neela ran to her father who welcomed her with open arms, tears of joy flowing down both their cheeks as they hugged. “Great kisser, great hair, can rise from the dead…Is there nothin your boyfriend can’t do? ” she teased, nudging Nick as she spoke. “An’ ya! Standin up to a gangster like that!  Sorry bout im hittin ya like that…He can be quite dramatic! ” Edward apologised on his behalf, thanking the guard. “It’s alright. Well, ya didn’t have to hit me…or seduce me, for that matter…I’d have given ya the keycard willingly, had I known ya were enemies of my dad! He was a real brute anyway!  ” she accepted his apology, smiling slyly as she spoke. “Wait a min…did ya say yer dad? ” a surprised Edward enquired, not sure he’d heard her correctly.”Yes. I’m Josephine Cardinal. Jo, for short. ” she revealed. “I think I’ll give ya both a minute alone, huh? ” she whispered, lovingly leading his little girl away as the two men exchanged stunned looks. “That sayin bout families stickin together” I call bullshit on that! ” Edward quipped, turning towards Nick who seconded it. “Yup! Now…I believe we were gonna kiss…? ” an impatient Nick reminded, licking his lips seductively as he spoke, before Edward pressed his lips against his, not letting him finish his sentence as they kissed passionately.

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VIGILANTE IN LOVE! Chapter 20

“Neela! Don’t worry, sweetheart…I’m ere now. Yer gonna be fine, kay? Let’s just get this off, eh? ” Ed exclaimed, heaving a sigh of relief as he untied his daughter who’d been gagged and locked up in the room behind the large metal doors. “Thank God yer alright! ” he whispered tearfully, hugging her as he spoke. “Of course, she’s alright! I’d never hurt her. I’m not a paedophile, or a child murderer. I’m just a desperate man who wants his money back. Now, d’you have my money, ya thievin bastard?! ” the furious gangster appeared at the door, demanding his money and pointing a gun at them. “Oi! There’s a child here, so watch your language! ” Emma advised, glaring at him as a whimpering Neela buried her frightened  face into her dad’s jacket. “Seriously, Em? That’s what ya want im to watch?! He’s pointin a gun at us! Which, btw, I can knock out of his hand in a heartbeat…” Nick boasted, preparing to make a run at the dangerous man. “I’d like to see ya try that with a bullet in yer brain, braveheart! ” he scoffed.
That was the last thing he said before he began to flay his arms about…like he was doing a weird mafia dance…until they realized he wasn’t. The blonde guard who’d regained consciousness by then had taken him by surprise, jumping onto his back and wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck till he turned purple. His gun went off during the scuffle. Everyone struggled to dodge flying bullets, while he struggled to breathe. She held on to him till he passed out. “I’m not as weak as ya think I am…An’ I’m not a dumb blonde! I won’t have ya callin me that! ” the agitated guard defended herself to the unconscious man. “Everyone fine? Neela? Ed? Em…Emma? Oh, my gosh! Emma?! ” a worried Nick cried out, on seeing his sister lying in a pool of blood. She’d jumped in the path of a bullet that had almost hit Neela and was now bleeding out on the floor at the frightened little girl’s feet.
“We’ve gotta get her to the nearest hospital. That’s the Portland Hospital ” the guard advised. ” Em…you’re gonna be alright! C’mon…” Nick comforted, as he proceeded to carry his wounded sibling. “Put er down! ” Edward ordered. “What d’you mean, put her down? We can’t let her die. What’re ya doin? ” he demanded to know, watching fearfully as the man slipped on his purple glove. “Gonna cauterise the wound. It’ll stop the bleedin, so she won’t bleed to death before ya get to the hospital. Ya can take er to the hospital safely then. It’s the only way…An’ it might hurt…a lot. But, trust me, Em.” he whispered, cupping his gloved hand over the wound as he spoke. “Aaaahhhh! ” her screams filled the room as the lightning seared her wound. The guard covered Neela’s ears in a bid to shield her from hearing Emma’s painful cries, while the injured woman dug her nails into Edward’s jacket, holding onto him and squinting her eyes as tears streamed down her pained face. “Shh…shh…Ya can relax now, lass…”  he whispered slowly, as she passed out in his arms. The relief was short lived though, as the beeping of the activated timebombs echoed across the room. “That’s our cue to move. Allonsy! Worked security at the Louvre. Picked up a bit of French…” the brave guard bragged, before leading the way out as the bombs began to go off one by one!
“Ed…no! Let go of him, Cardinal! ” Nick cried out, as the gangster came to and grabbed Edward’s foot, sending him toppling to the floor. Edward kicked at him frantically in a bid to free himself, but the gangster held on. He was finally able to free himself with the help of his lightning emitting glove, but it was too late! The walls around them crumbled and a large part of the ceiling crashed and blocked the doorway, trapping Edward and a fatally wounded Cardinal inside the room. “I’m sorry…There’s nothin we can do. Time’s runnin out! ” the guard apologized, pulling everyone out in the nick of time. He stood frozen as they watched the fortress explode and reduce to rubble. “I never got to say a proper goodbye…or even thank him for what he did.” the vigilante murmured, mourning the death of his villainous lover, before glancing down at his unconscious sister in his arms and sobbing. “I grabbed that gangster’s keys in there. Let’s get the bloody hell outta this creepy place! ” the guard exclaimed victoriosly,  snapping him back into reality as he put his limp sister in the backseat of the gangster’s swanky car, before getting in himself. The guard took the wheel, while Nick sat in the front seat, looking back constantly to monitor his sister as they sped away. In the commotion, he’d almost forgotten about Edward’s daughter who was sitting on his lap. As he turned his attention to a speechless Neela (who looked up at him in an innocent, clueless manner), hot tears streamed down his cheeks as he realised that the angelic child was now an orphan.

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VIGILANTE IN LOVE! Chapter 19

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East Weare camp- the lair

Cameo by Georgia Moffet as the female guard.
“Ok…No loss of memory, no nerve damage either…Well, that’s me. How are ya lot? ” Edward enquired, as they finally made it to their destination. “Ya could’ve  warned us beforehand, before ya flipped that bloody thing! ” she cried out, angrily shaking him by the collar. “But, but…” he sputtered, more frightened of her than he was of Cardinal or the cops! “But what?! I’ve a good mind to…” she didn’t let him finish. “But, check out the view!” he blurted out, in order to divert her attention. “Oi, Em! He’s right…It’s beautiful!” Nick seconded, as they watched the frothy waves lap up against the rocks and felt the salty, cooling gusts of wind against their skin. “Reminds us of that time we visited that urban beach.” the cloistered siblings exclaimed in unison.   “Nothin like the real thing though, eh? No time to sightsee. We’ve gotta save my daughter. Maybe I should’ve made ya both sign an agreement. Bout how ya weren’t dragged into this an’ were willingly helpin me…unless ya decide to turn me in or somethin! ” he reminded. “I can see why ya fancy him! ” Emma remarked sarcastically, on hearing him. “No…it’d be a bit too much, eh? ” he changed his mind. “Yeah…a bit! ” she agreed in a sarcastic tone, before they followed him to the heavily guarded building known as East Weare Camp- derelict and disused for years, it served as detention barracks before the mobster turned it into his lair. “Kill anythin that moves, eh? ” Emma, who was against violence, squirmed in disgust on overhearing what he’d whispered to Nick as they neared the entrance. She watched as he pressed a little wooden box into his palm once the vigilante had taken care of the man guarding the entrance. Nick nodded as Edward whispered something in his ear and they both exchanged wicked grins.
“What was in that box that ya thrust in my brother’s hand….before ya know he went jumpin off to kill those guards? I’ve never seen such a maniacal grin on his face before, ya know? Ever since he’s met ya, he’s someone else entirely. Would lay down his life for ya in a sec. Madly in love with ya, he is! ” she whispered to him, as the duo searched every room for signs of his daughter, coming up empty. “Aye, I know he is. That box contains lil gifts for Cardinal. Just teensy time bombs that’ll blow this place an’ its contents to kingdom come! ” he replied, darkly. “It…It’s contents? Like the loot that’s hidden here? You’re not takin it with you? You’re leavin the money behind? ” she exclaimed, in disbelief. “I’m only ere for my daughter, kay? An’ to finish off that arsehole! I wish I’d never stolen his blood money. I was just desperate…an’ maybe, greedy. I thought stealin would help us survive, but it’s unsafe an’ if it’s gonna cost me my daughter, I’ve had enough! But, I’m not gonna let im steal from any poor souls either! ” the criminal who’d undergone a change of heart replied, as they reached the mouth of a dark tunnel.
“Are ya sure ya know where you’re goin? ” she asked, impressed by his change of heart but doubtful of his sense of direction as she followed him through the winding, smelly tunnel. “Aye. Why d’you think I had those blueprints an’ maps with me, eh? They don’t show the way to bloomin Edinburgh, do they? ” he scoffed in reply, as they neared the end of the tunnel. “I wonder what’s in there…” she whispered, as he pulled her behind a pillar on seeing a guard walk past. It was a female guard this time and she stood in front of a heavy metal door. “What d’you think? Can ya take er on? ” he suggested. “I’m not gettin my hands bloody for ya! ” Emma declined. “Scaredy cat! Guess I’ll have to turn me charm on! ” she heard him mutter as he walked up to the blonde lady. “What’d I miss? ” her bruised and bloodied brother enquired, showing up beside her. “Well, your boyfriend surely swings both ways! ” Emma replied teasingly, as they watched Edward snog the guard till she let her gun drop to the floor! An agape Nick decided it was the last straw when he heard the breathless blonde murmur Call me. “Well, he won’t, cuz he’s mine! ” he yelled out protectively, before knocking her out and demanding an explanation from Edward. “Just wanted to distract er while I snatched er keycard, Romeo! Strictly business, geez! ” he explained, rolling his eyes at the overreacting Nick as he proceeded to open the metal door using the card.