THE SCOTTISH FETISH: Chapter 15

Song choice: https://youtu.be/mDYTBiG2CB4 (instrumental version of American Woman)

She returned that evening to a smoky bus. Battling a coughing fit, she made her way to the couch where he was sprawled face down and high as a kite. Worryingly, she turned him on his back and helped him up. “What’d ya smoke?” she asked, as she sat next to the unsteady rock star. “Uhhh….I dunno! Just somethin I found under the couch. In my defense, I was searchin for Valium. Gives me a kick, ya know? ” he confessed, before letting out a childish snicker. “Ohh…by the waaay…we’re outta Valium. Mind runnin to the pharmacy an’ buyin me some more? ” he asked, before he rubbed his glassy eyes. “Without a prescription? ” she reminded. “Who needs a prescription? ” he scoffed. “C’mon. We’ve got a fundraiser to get to. We’re already runnin late.” she reminded, losing no time in getting behind the wheel. She had a hard time getting him outta the bus though, when they finally reached the venue- a huge mansion with a lawn thronged by champagne chugging, fancy dressed people. He stayed in the bus, sitting on his throne chair while playing the intro to American Woman on his guitar and humming to himself. “I don’t like playin for the posh tossers. They don’t appreciate my music.” he complained. “Well, the moneybag who’s throwin this party is a huge fan o’ rock an’ roll.” she revealed. “Have ya never heard the sayin- All rich men lie?” he asked mockingly, before returning to his beloved guitar. “Ya just have to play for em. Maybe they’ll even ditch their caviar an’ champagne an’ hit the dance floor this time, eh? Ya never know! ” she insisted, trying to make him look at the possibility of a silver lining. “Rich men can’t dance either….but I’ll do it for the champagne! ” he finally agreed.
********
He stared around the empty dance floor. The guests were busy laughing haughtily as they sipped on Cristal, guffawed, complimented each other on their Gucci bags and Armani suits, but none of them paid any heed to him as he played ballads and his hit songs with a bored look on his face. The only reason he hadn’t tossed aside his guitar and made a scene onstage was because of his young manager, who egged him on from the dance floor. “That was a great performance! I think it’s time ya took a break though.” she finally decided, seeing as the uninterested guests were getting on his nerves. “I’ll hit the bar then! ” he exclaimed, adjusting his guitar strap and losing no time in hurrying over to the bar. Sure enough, he was soon drunk as a Lord! She had a hard time finding him among the crowd once he’d gone missing from the bar. She finally found him, suspiciously hanging around the exotic fish aquarium. “What’re ya doin? ” she asked, as he stared at the fishes with his bloodshot eyes. “Goin fishin! ” he replied, eliciting a confused glance from her. Before she could stop him, he’d dunked his head into the aquarium. He emerged with a crazy look on his face and soaking wet hair, grinning wildly at the crowd while a fish flipped about between his bared teeth! “Oh my god! Ya bit into a live fish?! Bloody mental! This is crazier than the time Ozzy bit into a bat! ” she cried out, while the horrified guests looked on and began to mumble among themselves. “Beat that, Ozzy! ” the drunk rock star cried out boastfully, before he let the fish drop to the floor. An embarrassed Ina picked the slippery fish up, examining it for bite marks before returning it to the water and apologising to the crowd. She tried to keep up with the rock star who’d staggered out of the mansion. She pulled him to the bus before he could make any more scenes. “Bollocks! We’ve got a flat! ” an exasperated Ina exclaimed. “Better call a tow truck.” she decided, not realizing he’d wandered off. “Oh, bother!” she cried out, forgetting about the tow truck and running after the man as he almost staggered into the path of a speeding car!

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