THE RUDE, THE SAD AND THE LAZY: Chapter 10

“U know,u’ve met my parents twice…& I haven’t met urs yet!” Lavender reminded,as we did our Christmas shopping in snowy December. “Believe me, u don’t wanna meet ’em, love! They’re twice as rude & grumpy as Alexandria! ” I cautioned. “I still wanna meet ’em! Where do they live? ” she insisted.
So, there we were, all 4 o’ us in Scotland, at the foot o’ Pine hillock atop which stood our family home. “Brr…It’s bloody cold, eh?” I muttered. “We just braved a snowstorm & u’re just realising that now?! ” Alex remarked,sarcastically. Soon, we reached the ancient cottage with a cobblestone driveway , half-hidden by large oaks & snow which hadn’t been shoveled. “Remember,we used to hang ninny Norm by his undies from the branch of that oak? ” Alex reminded,proudly. “& remember, I tried to stop ya from doin’ that every time? ” I reminded. She stuck her tongue out at me. “Morning,old-timers! ” Alex greeted rudely,waving at our parents who stood at the doorway, with a cold stare fixed on their faces. I shushed her, before introducing them to Lavender. “This is my mum, Anne McAvoy- McSheeran & my dad, David McSheeran.” I introduced her, gesturing to the pale old lady & the red-bearded man with a strong resemblance to Norman & did I mention, they both have extremely sharp tongues! “McAvoy? ” Lavender exclaimed,seeming intrigued by my mum’s maiden name. “No relation to the gem o’ a person, James McAvoy, love! ” I whispered, reading her thoughts. She seemed disappointed at that! ” I cannot believe they lost their accents as soon as u dragged ’em off to America! ” my dad accused me. “Yeah. We asked u to keep their heritage intact! ” my mum agreed with dad. “Are u 2 gonna blame me or invite us in already? ” I snapped.

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