A/N: This’ll be my last blog post…
Gotcha!;) Just the last chapter o’ this story. Thanx a lot for readin😄 Song choice for this chapter: Life with you by The Proclaimers:

“D’you like ’em? They’re a Proclaimers cover band! ” I bragged, excitedly. “That’s what u were doing while I went dress-shopping? ” Lavender asked. “How much more Scottish can ya get?! ” Alex exclaimed,rolling her eyes at my choice o’ wedding bands. “I prefer Celine Dion.” Norman muttered. “Sorry, we’re not billionaires! They’re all I could afford an’ they’re pretty good too! ” I assured, overhearing him. “Alex, thanks for convincing ur parents & inviting ’em over! ” Lavender thanked, spotting my parents sitting in a corner. “No biggie! Those ol’-timers had to get out someday! ” she exclaimed, rather proudly. “Ok. Will the happy couple come onto the dance floor now? & for their first dance, we’re gonna play an all-time favorite, Life with you! ” one o’ the band members announced, as we made our way onto the dance floor, hand-in-hand.

The end 💞



Song choice for this chapter: Let’s get married by The Proclaimers:

“C’mon in.” Lavender exclaimed,hearing a knock on her office door. “Oh! It’s u. What d’you want? ” she asked, glaring at Alex who walked in & made herself comfy on the couch. “Just came o’er to apologize…Oh! My God! Am I speakin’ in a Scottish accent?! I think u’ve broken me too,lass! ” she replied,joking to lighten Lavender’s foul mood. “Get out! I’ve an appointment with Tim Rogers & u’re wasting my time here! ” an impatient Lavender cried out,showing her the door. “Oh,u mean ur 10 yr.old patient,little Timmy? I met him outside & paid him to move along. So, now, we’ve got a lotta time to waste! ” Alex revealed, grinning as she settled back onto the couch, refusing to budge till her apology was heard & accepted. “U did what?! I’ll lose my job! ” Lavender cried out. “Yes! Then,u can move back in with us & return to ur job at Cam’s office! ” Alex exclaimed, excitedly. “No! I love my job as a counselor. Now, if u’ll excuse me, I’ve patients waiting.” She declared. “Today, I’m ur only patient. So, go ahead…psychoanalyse me or whatever! ” Alex urged, resting her feet on the table in front of her. “U’ve gotta be kidding me! I only treat kids, u crazy woman! ” she refused. “That’s it! Let it all out! ” my crazy sister urged further. “U are rude, demanding & evil! I’m sorry if that hurts u, but it’s the truth! ” Lavender yelled. “I’m sorry for hurting u too! All this time, u were just trying to make me realize all that, so I could change myself. & I’ll try to from now on…..if u come back home! ” Alex promised, jumping up. Lavender thought for awhile before making her decision.
Lavender?! I…” I began to speak,opening the front door. “I’m never leaving again! ” she interrupted me with a kiss. I loved the feel o’ her hands ruffling up my already messy hair. “Keep the stubble.” she whispered, pointing to my unshaven chin. I smiled at Alex, who winked at me. “Oh! One more thing. Let’s get married!” she reminded.


I decided to talk to Alex…after she returned from the fireman’s apartment after their night o’ passionate – whatever the heck it was that they were doin’! So,that meant waiting till morn. “Oh,u won’t believe what we did last n…Whoa! Why’re u glaring at me like that? ” Alex asked,bewildered at my cold stare at breakfast. “I need u to apologize to Lavender.” I replied,still glaring at her. ” & to me! ” Norman interrupted. “Oh! Did I hurt ur little girlfriend’s feelings? Don’t worry. She’ll be back! U’ll see her stupid,interfering face in here soon!” she calmly assured. “U hurt her feelings an’ she’s never comin’ back unless u apologize! ” I accused. “& u cancelled my show on purpose….’coz u’re jealous! Yeah! That’s right! U’ve always been jealous…& completely rude! ” Norman seconded. “Cry-babies! Why d’you even care so much about her? There are plenty of prettier fish in the sea! ” she remarked. Alex was asking me to move on? She didn’t even know anything about relationships! That made me lose it! “No,there aren’t! Not for me anyway! I’m 40, damn it! I can’t stay single forever! Lavender was the only girl who didn’t care how old I was or how rude u were or what a loner Norman was! She actually put up with us, when every other girl I’ve ever been with in the past,just left! I was holding onto the nicest person & u drove her away!! ” I yelled. “Ok! I’ll apologize! Don’t throw a fit! ” she finally agreed. “It better be a heartfelt one! ” I muttered. “What about me?! ” Norman reminded her. “Relax. I’ll bang one of the producers, so ur show’s gonna be safe, ‘kay? ” she promised,before hurrying out the door to apologize to Lavender, who hopefully would accept her apology.


Back home, I was shocked to find myself in the midst o’ a battlefield! “What’s happened here? ” I cried out, as a usually calm Lavender yelled at Alex about somethin’ bein’ her fault (??) “Why don’t u ask ur sister? ” she demanded. “Alex,what did u do? & why does Norm look so depressed? ” I asked. “They cancelled my show.” a downcast Norman,who was sitting on the couch an’ staring at the floor,lamented. “How?! Why?! ” I cried out,in disbelief. “She burnt down the set & made it look like Norm’s fault! ” Lavender accused Alex. ” How in the world did u manage to do that?! ” I asked Alex,fed up with her antics. “My boyfriend, the fireman befriended a few arsonists! ” she whispered into my ear & grinned. “Maybe she wouldn’t do such stuff if u’d been a stricter guardian…or even showed up today! ” Lavender blamed me. “Oh! So,now it’s my fault?! What’s the point in getting married if u can’t handle one rowdy sibling?! How’re ya gonna handle our kids in the future?! ” I screamed,unknowingly losing my temper. ” D’you expect me to be ur sister’s handler my whole life?! ” she screamed back at me. “U know what? Screw this!! ” she finally gave me a piece o’ her mind, handing back the engagement ring! She was tearful as she packed her stuff & left for her place. She quit her job as secretary & got back her old job as school counselor. I continued to be lonely & kept calling her to come back.
“C’mon back,love! I’m sorry for yelling at ya. I dunno what came o’er me.” I apologized,knocking on her door one day. “It’s not ur fault,Campy. It’s ur horrid sister! U told me u wanted me to be comfortable in ur home,remember? But,how can I ,when I don’t even feel at home there?! ” she lamented. “I know,u can’t drive her away, & I’m not askin’ u to, so don’t get any ideas! But,could u at least talk to her for me? ” she pleaded. “I’ll do my best.” I promised,before leaving.


Lavender had been bothering me to go wedding shopping,but I’d been too busy. We hadn’t decided on a date either & my parents weren’t keen on attending. Lavender complained that I’d turned into a workaholic & my colleagues praised me ‘coz I was no longer a slob who forced my work onto others! Anyway, I was too busy to even attend the shoot o’ Norm’s new show an’ he was disappointed ‘coz I didn’t show up. But,what was I supposed to do? Paperwork was piling up. The old me,the lazy me would’ve put it off for later,but the new me was determined to get that promotion! The promotion that I was denied before ‘coz I was too lazy! (Btw,I did get that promotion later! ) I didn’t think o’ how this would affect our relationship though.


A/N: Plz do check out my sci-fi ebook, It’s Sciency Wiency stuff!, made available in epub, pdf, daisy an’ various other formats for free ere:
Now also on Smashwords:
And on Scribd:

Also, find The Rude, the Sad and the Lazy ebook on the same site ere:
Thanx for all the appreciation an’ the reads, my lovelies💙…Alright, now, ONWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! 😁

“Oh! U’re gettin’ married?! Can I be a bridesmaid? ” Alex (Yes, my evil sister Alex! ) asked, staring at the ring on Lavender’s finger. “Wow! I can’t believe u’re taking this news well! ” a stunned Lavender exclaimed. “I meant- Ugh! U’re getting married?! If u couldn’t tell,I was being sarcastic! ” the original , evil Alex snapped,tossing her hand aside & glaring at her ring in disgust. “Can’t u just be happy for me for once? ” I asked,rolling my eyes at her. “Well,I’ve got good news too,guys! I’m getting my own show on Science Network! I’ll be demonstrating my latest inventions & interviewing fellow science enthusiasts on tv! ” Norman boasted proudly,interrupting my proud moment! “Norm,that’s awesome! But,how…? ” I asked,too stunned to believe him. “I’ve contacts in the movie industry! Let’s just say that a certain producer had a 10 yr.old son with issues that I helped resolve! ” Lavender boasted. “I start shooting for it next week! ” an enthusiastic Norman exclaimed. A jealous Alex (who had big dreams o’ becomin’ a Hollywood star!) sulked.


“Wow! No one’s ever stood up to my dad like that…or even got Norman to open up! ” I exclaimed in wonder. So,here we were, just the 2 o’ us, tucking into a meal at our in NYC. “Well,I used to be a school counselor before I quit my job to be closer to u,remember? ” she reminded,tucking into her pasta. “Yeah…well,I’m glad to be back! Believe me,I’ve got nothing against my beloved Scotland,it’s just that I prefer American weather! ” I revealed,sipping my red wine & licking my lips. “Yeah,we froze our butts off & then, ur dad yelled my ear off! ” she chuckled, before staring at my open palm resting on the table. The shiny object that I held caught her attention. “Is that a….Are u….?”she started to ask in amazement. “Lavender June Slade….Will U marry me? ” I asked, on my knees an’ grinning up at her. “Yes! Oh,my god! I can’t believe it! Yes, I will marry u!! ” she replied,tears streaming down her cheeks.


“Oh,gr8! Ya broke Norman!” Alex remarked sarcastically,entering the room. “I reckon he’s been telling u about Ms. Holland. That lass was a bad influence on our boy. She had to leave as soon as possible,before she got ‘im into trouble!” Dad declared,puffing away. “Did u have any proof that she was a bad influence,Mr. McSheeran?” Lavender asked,her once calm demeanor suddenly changing into a cold one ( I dunno if her stay with us was turning her loony or strict!). “I’d known the Holland family for the longest time & Holland boys do not lie, my dear!”he replied,suggesting that he believed Ritchie’s lies. “Besides,this happened 20 yrs.ago. The lad should’ve moved on by now.” he snorted. “How would u feel if ur true love was taken away from u? Wouldn’t u be as heartbroken & as lonely as Norm?! ” she cried out. “I dunno what my son sees in ya,young lady! ” dad muttered, stunned by her outburst. “Disrespectful…utterly disrespectful! ” he muttered,making his way downstairs.
Long story short,we were asked to leave immediately….without dinner!


A/N: Suggested music to set the tone- Letter from America by The Proclaimers.
“She moved here from Florida after her dad died. It was his last wish that she & her mom should settle in his hometown after his death.” he reminisced,settling on the bed with Lavender sitting beside him. “She was the nerdiest 13 yr.old, but to me, she was the prettiest! Everyone teased us & bullied us for bein’ a couple of nerds, but we didn’t let their jeers get to us. We spent our time collecting stuff or hangin’ out in the science lab or the library & we enjoyed our time together….” he continued,smiling to himself at these memories. “What happened to her? ” Lavender asked,intrigued by his love story. “We turned 18, we were both young & in love….but her overprotective brother, Ritchie didn’t like it! He lied to Mrs. Holland that I was a bad influence on Maggie & that we’d intended to elope! So,they left Scotland & returned to Florida & I never saw her again! Ever since then, I’ve been alone. She was the only girl I ever truly loved, ya know? ” he finished the story, looking at Lavender tearfully,before breaking down in her arms. She consoled him.


“So good to be back after so many yrs! ” I exclaimed,settling on the couch. “Not much has changed. Except, u’ve got a few grey hairs in that red beard o’ urs & u still don’t clean the driveway every winter, dad! ” I joked,as he sat next to me, lighting his pipe. “If u visited more often, u’d know that I threw my back out last month,son! ” he revealed in a gruff voice,glaring at me as he spoke. I felt uneasy. “So, Anne….is it ok if I call u Anne? ” Lavender asked. “Why? We’re not family.” my mum replied, rudely. “How about I give u a hand in the kitchen?” she asked,politely. “No,thanks. Alex already told me that u’re a terrible cook! ” mum replied. “Well, ur precious Alex is a liar! ” I told my proud mum. “Campbell! Don’t u dare talk about ur sweet sister like that! ” she snapped,wrapping her arms around a grinning Alex. “I meant, how about I give u a hand in doing the dishes? ” Lavender interrupted. “Ya think an ol’ lady can’t handle a few dirty dishes?! I don’t need yer help,lass! ” my overreacting mum rejected her offer. “U could help me unpack. I’ll show u my old room! ” Norman suggested with a grin.
Wow! This place is like a science lab, Norm! ” Lavender stared in wonder at the beakers, jars with plant specimens, mounted butterflies & other scientific equipment in his closet as she hung his clothes neatly. “I can’t believe mom kept my room intact with the Bill Nye posters & all! ” he muttered,excitedly. “Did u spend ur whole childhood locked in here? Didn’t u ever get out & play with ur friends or somethin’? ” Lavender asked,careful not to hurt his feelings. “No one played with me….Except Maggie.” he replied,almost whispering. “Who’s Maggie? ” she asked,moving closer to hear him better. “Margaret May Holland,my only friend & fellow science enthusiast.” he replied.