IT’S TIMEY WIMEY NONSENSE! Chapter 27

Ladies an’ gentlemen, prepare to witness a sword fight! It’s Deirdre vs Martin:

Clash of swords

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The sword-wielding time traveller

They watched as the distraught man gave Matt’s suggestion some thought. He leant against his pillow, rolling the lit cigarette in his fingers before putting it out and finally getting up with a groan. He ran a hand through his unruly hair and put on his jacket, making himself presentable before walking out. They followed him out cautiously, only to be horrified by bullets zipping past them. They left bullet holes in the walls of the barracks, but fortunately Martin and Kelly were unscathed. “Finally! I caught up to y’all! Time to die, hubby dear!  ” Deirdre screamed, continuing to shoot at them as they ran, trying to dodge the bullets as shots rang out in the air and she chased them. They finally made it to the Major’s cabin, slamming the door behind them. “Martin, we’ve gotta get ya to safety! ” Kelly cried out as she  found the past Martin waiting there impatiently for Major Richmond. He jumped out of his chair on seeing her, backing away in horror as she inched closer. “What the….Kelly?! I can see Kelly…do my eyes deceive me?! ” he muttered in confusion. “Listen to me. You’re in danger! ” the future Martin seconded in a frantic manner. “An’ now I’m seein another me?! I’m seein double…whoa, I must be really drunk! Do I have a problem! ” his past self realised, holding onto a chair to steady himself. Kelly grabbed onto his arm, deciding that it was best to move him to a safe place. “An’ now, I can feel my dead fiancee touchin me?! How drunk am I?! ” he exclaimed, widening his eyes in horror as he felt her touch. His widened eyes darted quickly, first towards his dead fiancee and then to his future self, unsure what to think . “Shut up an’ get down! ” Kelly ordered, hurriedly tugging at his sleeve to pull him down to the floor, ducking as the door swung open and Deirdre aimed and fired! “Huh? ” the future Martin exclaimed, looking up from behind the large desk where the trio had quickly taken cover, only to see her looking down the barrel of the gun and fiddling about to check for bullets. “Shoot! I’m out…! Argh! ” They sighed in relief. But their happiness was short lived as the observant woman caught a glimpse of the antique swords that hung on the wall of the cabin. “Oh! But, we’ve got swords an’ someone’s gotta die! ” she exclaimed. “Oi! Don’t touch those! The Major’ll have my arse if ya touch those swords! They were a gift to im from the Maharaja o’ Travancore, ya know? ” his past self advised, as she lost no time in snatching one of the sharp things. “That’s the least o’ yer worries. She’s ere to kill ya. Well….kill us, actually.” the future Martin revealed, clasping a quivering Kelly’s arm as they stood up and backed away. She raised the sword at them, determined to fatally stab someone with it.  “Think I’ll start with you, husband stealer! ” she declared wickedly, inching towards Kelly with the pointed edge aimed at her throat, only to be blocked by the protective Martin. “I won’t let ya! ” he defended her bravely. “Love, move! I don’t wanna kill ya first. I wanna let ya watch….as I kill her! Break your heart, like you broke mine! ” Deirdre ordered without lowering her sword. “I will die before I let ya kill her! ” he continued, still standing by her.  “Dying seems excessive….but, I’ll give ya a chance to fight for her…literally! There’s another sword right there. How bout a lil sword fight? Just you an’ me, love. I highly doubt you’re gonna succeed in saving her though….but, I’ll give ya a chance to fight for love anyway…or die trying!  ” she challenged cunningly, motioning to the antique rapier that hung on the wall directly above him, as if urging him to use it to fight her. “I won’t fight ya…cuz I don’t wanna hurt ya, Dee…please, don’t make me hurt ya…please! ” he pleaded. “You’ve already hurt me…just pick up the bloody sword! ” she ordered, losing her patience but not losing her grip on the hilt of the sword. “I never meant to hurt ya…An’ I won’t fight ya…” he continued to refuse, but was interrupted as the sword came loose, dangling momentarily before it fell. A quick thinking Martin caught it before it hit the floor, while Deirdre smiled in satisfaction as he did so. ” Well…that’s unfortunate! ” he mumbled, realizing she wouldn’t let him go without a fight.
“Did I mention, I learnt fencing in school?” she boasted, readying herself to fight. “Well, I was a stunt double for some movie called The Decoy Bride. Required me to stand in for a sword fight scene, in place o’ some skinny chap named David Tennant or somethin like that…..So..I’ve got experience in it too…well, sorta! ” he rambled hesitantly, trying to muster up the courage to fight. “You didn’t lemme finish!  It sorta became my defense mechanism against those silly bullies. Didn’t chop em up though. School didn’t allow it…so, only left em with knicks an’ cuts! Those bullies stole my innocence…my everything….just like that bully right behind you. Yeah, I’m talkin bout you, Kelly! ” she accused with an evil glint in her eyes, losing no time in swiping at him with the sword. He dodged and swiped back at her, quickly but cautiously in order not to hurt her. Kelly led the his past version to a safe corner. They watched as the duo fought voraciously. Clashes, clangs, the sound of Deirdre’s heavy breathing and that of Martin muttering fencing terms like parry, thrust, etc. under his breath filled the room, as he attempted to hold his own against a determined Deirdre who wielded her sword expertly. This went on for a long time until she got the better of him as she swiped, leaving a bloody gash on his shoulder.
He grabbed at his bleeding, stinging shoulder and scrunched his face up in pain, letting the rapier fall from his hand. A concerned Kelly ran towards him as she noticed the blood dribble down his arm and pool at his feet as he leant against the wall. A victorious Deirdre took this opportunity to creep up behind the couple and take a swing at the unknowing woman.  “No!!” the past Martin cried out heroically, quickly picking up the fallen rapier, before rushing and lunging at her. The couple watched in disbelief as he thrust at her with the sharp and rusty rapier. Deirdre gasped…as he stabbed her!

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