Meeting the parents an’ chasing conspiracies:

The bickering parents


“Where were you? ” was Deirdre’s first question when he entered the apartment. “I thought I told ya…” he began to reply. “You’ve been gone two days! I was so worried sick bout you! ” she interrupted, hugging him with a whimper. “Hey…I’m ere now, aren’t I? I was just out with my mates. We went for a drink…An’ we got a bit wild. Went up to…uh…Cardiff…uh, for an Annual Christmas Booze-up! ” he lied. “I thought I told ya bout it though…? ” he muttered. “I must’ve been busy over the phone or somethin.” she shrugged. “I’m touched by yer concern for me though.” he whispered, with a smile. “Of course, I was concerned. You disappear like that, a day before Christmas…leavin me with so much to do, it’s worrisome! We haven’t even put up the lights yet, Martin! Well, I hope you’re not too drunk. We’ve got to pick my parents up at the airport.” she rambled on, while his smile turned into a frown on realizing the true reason behind his wife’s genuine concern! “I was thinkin o’ restin my eyes for a while. Think I’m still a bit hungover, love.” he excused himself. “Oh…c’mon! You don’t even have to drive! I’ll drive, kay? I just can’t bear bein in a car alone with em….They bicker a lot! Honestly, they get on my nerves! ” she complained, already heading for the door. He followed her out, finding no way to talk himself outta it.
“Did ya two have a good flight? ” the loving son-in-law asked, helping them with their luggage. “Terrific! We just got back from Poland, ya know? Fantastic trip! We’re gonna head to Ipswich to track down the mystical blue haired Ipswich monster next week. Gonna be another fantastic adventure! ” his father-in-law replied, ecstatically. “Horrible trip! All throughout the journey, he talked my ears off about this deserted village he found.” his mother-in-law disagreed with her husband, as they sat in the backseat. “An’ the bickering starts early! ” Deirdre muttered, while an amused Martin chuckled as he buckled up in the front seat. “It was a ghost town named Klomino. Apparently, it’s home to a cloning facility…” Deirdre feigned interest as her father began to explain. “Him an’ his tall tales!” her mother interrupted, rolling her eyes at him. “It’s not a tall tale, love. Ya know, she’s always tellin me that conspiracy theorist’s not a real job! ” he revealed to the couple. “That’s cuz it isn’t! Chasin conspiracy after conspiracy isn’t a real job! Besides, did you even find this so-called cloning facility? ” his logical wife ridiculed. “No. The nuns who ran the nearby orphanage said that there was a lab run by an eccentric scientist there a long time ago, but unfortunately it burnt to a crisp an’ nobody knows the whereabouts of the scientist either.” he explained, losing the enthusiastic tone in his voice. “Fascinatin.” Martin exclaimed, finding his explanation to ring true. “At least, someone thinks my work is fascinating! ” his pleased father-in-law praised, before patting him on the shoulder with a smile. Martin received a look of disbelief from his wife, who thought him to be a sceptic. “Eyes on the road, love.” he advised, on noticing her look. “Ya remember Mrs. Henson, that ol hag who lives next door to us? Her daughter recently gave birth to twins…..” her mum quickly changed the topic, bored from all the talk about clones and conspiracies. “Where’re ya goin with this, mum? ” Deirdre interrupted, noticing the eager look on her mum’s face in the rear view mirror. “I was just wonderin when you both would grace us with a grandchild of our own, dear.” her mum spoke her mind. “We don’t need kids, mum. We’ve already got a cat that needs lookin after! ” Martin replied jokingly on her behalf, eliciting a hearty laugh from his cheerful father-in-law.


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